the owls are not what they seem

[sanpaku_backup]

The attempt to Find People We Might One Day, You Know, Hang Out with or Something continues its lumbering, hopeless operation... we went to a latke party on the East Side last night. My goodness, how young people are becoming these days. Actually it went mostly OK, some fruitful conversations as some enterprising individuals entertained Jo and gave her dreidels. They seemed cool with us and everything, especially when someone else brought a baby over. The crowd seemed more earnest and more idealistic than people I have seen in a while, which was an interesting change. You get this sense, true or not, that something is happening and I touched it that helps you feel comfortable in a city.

It's always hard to gauge how these things go. I'm not much of an extrovert and I hate mixed social event, but we have been hitting the social thing about as hard as we are able to in the past few months, trying to invite people over and go to things. Recourse to the twentysomethings only came after pushing with the mid-30s; we had one couple over to our house in October, and met another (after many missed attempts) for dinner, and it all seemed nice enough, and then you wait for some kind of reciprocity, and it just never fucking happens. I don't know if it's that at My Age people are Really Terribly Busy and, having purchased hearth and lawn, just are no longer thinking in social terms with people they don't know.

I don't feel part of that, but I'm beginning to be a little embarrassed at feeling that underneath the mortgage, the family and the job, I'm still 25 myself. Part of it is lack of professional accomplishment, but it also must have something to do with the fact that around 25 was when I lost touch with most of my old friends. Having not found new ones yet in this state, at least, it's weird.

What else... we're leaving for Pittsburgh on New Year's Eve for a few days and then heading back east to Philadelphia for a conference, where we hope to see librarygrrl in her native environment. The New Year's trip is in accord with the low-key holiday season we have had thus far -- no Long Island Christmas this year, just an old-fashioned Jewmas of Chinese food and movies. Which suits me fine, except that we have all been sick since then, with Jo and the Mrs. hacking up their lungs now in a tonal pattern that can only be called "Eraserhead-esque." Yet I presume that this too will pass.

Also: making our way through Twin Peaks. First time for me, second time for the Mrs.

Comments

[cellio]

Pittsburgh? (Ears perk up.)

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah... Sunday night through Thursday morning?

[flw.livejournal.com]

Twin Peaks? I been trying to get somebody to watch that!

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

I remember you trying to get me to watch it in 1990. It was/is pretty incomprehensible for "casual viewing," so this is much better. We're up to episode 19, ie, post Laura Palmer. I'm gonna have to get ahold of the pilot and Fire Walk With Me next. Fun!

[flw.livejournal.com]

You didn't see the Pilot? It all starts with the pilot... I don't quite follow.

It is awesome though, it is like watching ten David Lynch movies in a row. The humor and the terror coming at the same time is what makes it. You want to laugh and scream at the same time. Did you see Mulholland Drive? The scene behind the restaurant is what I am reminded of...

Mulholland Drive is very funny because the first forty five minutes were intended as a TV Pilot... then the deal fell through. So, almost exactly at the forty five minute mark, wham! Every female member of the cast rips off her shirt and everyone starts swearing. It's funny.

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

Yeah, for some reason the pilot was owned by ABC so it wasn't released on video at the same time as the rest of the eps. So I have to get ahold of it somewhere.

I think I remember commenting on the TV-ness of Mulholland Drive at the time. It would have made a great TV show.

People to hang out with

[nylorac.livejournal.com]

I too have this issue sometimes, but I am lucky enough to have some old old friends who live here- I recently realized I have almost no friends who I have known for less than 10 years. I attribute this to my "forced time" theory of friendship - I am only capable of making new friends when I am forced to spend time with people in a non-social setting. Obviously school is a good example of this and of course work, but I don't work in a regular place or with the same people for long enough for this to happen- I actually look to the preschool as a way to meet some people to hang out with who also have kids- because I am forced to spend a lot of time with these people so maybe I'll make some friends because even though I'd like to make some new connections, as you said of others, I really don't have time to socialize with people I don't know...

Re: People to hang out with

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

Yes, it seems to me that a major benefit of living in NY is that at least a few of one's friends are bound to end up there, as several of mine have.

It is true that people I consider my "real" friends are people who I endured something with or bonded with a long time ago. I also find it difficult to talk to men I don't know about anything substantive. It feels forced and everyone always talks about the same banalities. So we have ended up with some ersatz friends who, basically, I try to screen off a little from my weirdness. But that's really all I am asking for these days... just some distractions.

The other strange thing is that this here venue of LJ makes it much easier to know someone's interior life than you could get after years of acquaintance. So I wonder whether that has a role in what I consider "substantive" conversation with someone.