(no subject)

[sanpaku_backup]

It's a weird thing, the first few weeks. The slide into chaos is so gradual, and you think, for a long time, that you're not as affected by the sleep deprivation as you really are. Then you look around and realize you have done nothing and will do nothing more than run in place for as far out as the mind can contemplate.

What is update-worthy... well, I fainted the other day, how about that? I was at the dermatologist's -- my main doctor thought it would be a good idea to get a sty taken off as well as have a "baseline" of my various moles. I have many, so I was surprised that he looked them all over in about twenty seconds and pronounced me fine. Then I have one on my very inner thigh that he hadn't seen... just thought I'd mention this too... and he looked for longer than the twenty seconds. Finally he said without looking at me, "How'd you like to have this taken off today?" This being the same as "biopsy," actually.

So it basically felt like a couple of sharp pinches; hardly painful at all. And then, like 30 seconds later, they were talking and I just started feeling really, really not good at all. Sounds got distant and I had trouble concentrating on what they were saying. Managed to stammer out "um, this is, uh, no, not, uh, not good." They tilted the chair way back and after about 10 seconds sweat just started pouring out of me as I felt incredibly hot. Felt almost normal, leaned forward, nope, passing out again... repeat the whole thing.

God damned vaso vagal thing. (Longtime readers of this journal will remember that I poseed about it then.) I could dismiss it then as a fluke from being sick, but not anymore -- I guess sharp pain will just throw me into shock, even when I'm not especially worried about it or especially painful. It's embarrassing but mostly just weird. You don't expect your body to surprise you like that over something so minor.

I guess it's also easier to think about that than that I had something "biopsied" off of me. It's almost certainly nothing, as everyone tells me. Doesn't mean I won't be thinking about it quite a bit.

...now, why don't I post more? Because it took me about an HOUR to write about having a stupid mole removed. That is what life is like these days. I will try to be more consequential once I can get around to it...

Comments

[cahwyguy.livejournal.com]

I hope you feel better.

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

Heck, I felt better almost immediately. Within ten minutes of it happening it was like it had never happened. You just need to get blood back into your brain! But thank you.

skin doctor

[flw.livejournal.com]

The tough part of being a dermatologist is handing people the bill.

"That? It's nothing... $160 please..."

"What?"

People are sort of disappointed that they don't have skin cancer. If I'm paying you $160 I better goddamn well have skin cancer!

Re: skin doctor

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

The racket angle is one I'd never thought of. I mean the guy looked over dozens of them on me and was ready to let me go. Then there was just this one... and then it occurred to me also that this was a mole I only noticed myself pretty recently... and it seemed bigger than I'd remembered... etc.

No, I will not be disappointed to not have skin cancer.

Re: skin doctor

[flw.livejournal.com]

It's not a racket. They look at hundreds of moles, lesions, boils, and so on, every day. They really can tell just by a glance. It's just that when they do it, it's always seems so quick. So, it feels like a rip-off.

You don't have skin cancer. And if you did, it's gone now anyway!

[jette.livejournal.com]

Ugh what an experience, I'm glad you went in when you did! My inlaws both had skin cancer. Also you have reminded me to go in for my own mole check - it's been a while.

I hear you on that "babymoon" experience. You know there's a time past the time when everything is Baby All The Time, and time will move forward again - in a blindingly fast fasion, but at the time, it's just... like you're living in the center of the heat sink of the universe. I remember a big blur punctuated by stepping on plastic things with my bare feet. The edge of a pacifier can be pretty harsh on the instep, if I recall correctly.

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

Dang, see, I know nothing about skin cancer or what that might mean, so it's sort of very abstract and scary but distant... in the category of "one of those things I oughta get around to someday," which is a large category in my life. Now it's more than that.

We went through this phase before, so I know daylight will come again. The hardest part is slipping back when it took so long to reenter the land of the living. And my older one is a real, giggling person, so it's hard to go back to that stage when they are just blobs of screaming. Funny how the maintenance becomes easier at just the stage when they can smile, babble, look around, etc. As for the time dilation effect, I actually find it sort of a relief compared to the general sensation, as you age, of time just warping by. It's like being a kid again yourself, when the days are sooo long.

[msmidge.livejournal.com]

I had a vaso vagal freakout at the dermatologist a year or so ago. V. unpleasant.

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

They seemed really surprised by it. Certainly when it happened to me the first time, with the blood being drawn (they missed a vein), I couldn't believe it. But apparently it's not uncommon at all.

[cellio]

That sounds awkward and a little freaky. Well, at least now you know, so maybe you can plan for it in the future. :-(