Solipsism...
Sep. 18th, 2000 11:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sanpaku_backup...I believe, is when you become excessively self-obsessed. It always hits hard when wifey is away, as she is now. I become excessively trapped by my own thoughts and life takes on a sort of dreamlike quality. I know no one in this town outside of work and even before moving here we didn't have a heck of a lot of friends. I mean, all of my friends are scattered all over the place-- life after college. So all I have is the work and the job and the passage between the two.
I do very weird things in this mood sometimes. I went to Amsterdam for an academic conference and made the mistake of staying for 5 days knowing absolutely no one. And I don't pick up women or drink or smoke pot (so you can imagine this being the wrong city for me). So I went out for hours every night, not stopping anywhere, just walking all the hell over the place with no point until I felt ready to go to sleep. If I didn't have a job I would probably revert to that behavior now.
Anyway the biblio is more or less done, though I didn't have it in me to do the chapter rewriting, which is what really needs to be done. I went to bed at 12:30 last night, and probably will again tonight, but it doesn't matter-- in this kind of mood I don't sleep much anyway, and am just tired all day.
I do very weird things in this mood sometimes. I went to Amsterdam for an academic conference and made the mistake of staying for 5 days knowing absolutely no one. And I don't pick up women or drink or smoke pot (so you can imagine this being the wrong city for me). So I went out for hours every night, not stopping anywhere, just walking all the hell over the place with no point until I felt ready to go to sleep. If I didn't have a job I would probably revert to that behavior now.
Anyway the biblio is more or less done, though I didn't have it in me to do the chapter rewriting, which is what really needs to be done. I went to bed at 12:30 last night, and probably will again tonight, but it doesn't matter-- in this kind of mood I don't sleep much anyway, and am just tired all day.
