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Nov. 25th, 2001 10:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sanpaku_backupI don't quite know why I feel so wretched. Much of the time I sense a cold coming on. Probably just in a perpetual state of Unwell.
Tomorrow I get to find out if they have any more work for me. K. really only promised stuff until Thanksgiving... so it might run dry. The woman who I've been working for has been very nice, thanking me for the work I did, sending me an e-card... all I can think is, "that's nice, but please find me more work..."
Prepared another batch of academic applications. It has been 6 weeks since the first batch of letters went out, which means that the first rejection letters should be coming in any day now. It's funny how nothing good ever comes in the mail. Any good job-related news would come in the form of a phone call. And we see the mail as something regular and punctual, while a phone call is evanescent and unpredictable, almost to the point of being random. You think of all the phone calls you missed by not being home or phone calls that are not really calls (wrong numbers, hangups, etc.). To my state of mind now, that translates into: the life I am living now, the only one I can see myself living in at the end of the day tomorrow, is permanent and thus true. Life if the phone rings is unforseeable and impossible to believe in.
Other reasons not to look forward to tomorrow: I need to call the school and cancel the interview. Even if my general vibe about it and my own abilities was wrong, it would totally screw up Mrs. Sanpaku's work day, as the place is 2 hours away. But how exactly to say it. I hate trying to figure out the right words and all that. So I keep putting it off.
All that said, I suppose I can't complain too much about the past few days. Thanksgiving was nice and fine. Many leftovers of Tofurkey and other yummy sundries. Also went for a walk today with Mrs. and the pooch in a big park I've been meaning to check out for a year. There was supposed to be a pond, though, and there wasn't one.
Saw The Man Who Wasn't There last night. A quiet study in the laconic personality (a trait I admire because I can't keep myself from talking gibberish once I get started). Mesmerizing to watch, a beautifully staged film, and very easy to get into. It wasn't until we left that I realized I felt a little cheated. It's all very interesting and takes twists and turns, but then the last quarter of the film just sort of levels off and the plot just sort of floats away. I wanted some more twists and turns, like them Coen boys are good at. Oh well.
Tomorrow I get to find out if they have any more work for me. K. really only promised stuff until Thanksgiving... so it might run dry. The woman who I've been working for has been very nice, thanking me for the work I did, sending me an e-card... all I can think is, "that's nice, but please find me more work..."
Prepared another batch of academic applications. It has been 6 weeks since the first batch of letters went out, which means that the first rejection letters should be coming in any day now. It's funny how nothing good ever comes in the mail. Any good job-related news would come in the form of a phone call. And we see the mail as something regular and punctual, while a phone call is evanescent and unpredictable, almost to the point of being random. You think of all the phone calls you missed by not being home or phone calls that are not really calls (wrong numbers, hangups, etc.). To my state of mind now, that translates into: the life I am living now, the only one I can see myself living in at the end of the day tomorrow, is permanent and thus true. Life if the phone rings is unforseeable and impossible to believe in.
Other reasons not to look forward to tomorrow: I need to call the school and cancel the interview. Even if my general vibe about it and my own abilities was wrong, it would totally screw up Mrs. Sanpaku's work day, as the place is 2 hours away. But how exactly to say it. I hate trying to figure out the right words and all that. So I keep putting it off.
All that said, I suppose I can't complain too much about the past few days. Thanksgiving was nice and fine. Many leftovers of Tofurkey and other yummy sundries. Also went for a walk today with Mrs. and the pooch in a big park I've been meaning to check out for a year. There was supposed to be a pond, though, and there wasn't one.
Saw The Man Who Wasn't There last night. A quiet study in the laconic personality (a trait I admire because I can't keep myself from talking gibberish once I get started). Mesmerizing to watch, a beautifully staged film, and very easy to get into. It wasn't until we left that I realized I felt a little cheated. It's all very interesting and takes twists and turns, but then the last quarter of the film just sort of levels off and the plot just sort of floats away. I wanted some more twists and turns, like them Coen boys are good at. Oh well.
