Curse of the Y Chromosome
Jan. 27th, 2002 05:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sanpaku_backupOkay. You LJ friends, you are my witnesses.
I am never watching or following professional sports again.
I will never watch a certain spheroid-centered sporting event again, not even the Super Bowl, seeing as how a certain stupid fucking home team consistently makes me feel like an idiot for following it and appearing to be quote-unquote good enough of the time to make me watch.
No more sunny 60 degree days in January, like today, wasted in front of the television, screaming and wanting to throw things. (Actually, the day was not a total loss, since after the blocked field goal I got up and raked the yard, something I should have done 3 months ago. Must release testosterone aggression somehow.)
I made this break with baseball about 10 years ago. I did it after turning on the radio during the championship series of a certain home town baseball team, just in time to hear the opposing team hit a game winning home run and the Braves fans in my dorm explode in jubilation.
Actually I had been in process of making that break ever since a certain ground ball rolled through a certain infielder's legs in the sixth game of the 1986 world series, causing me to almost pull my bedroom door off its hinges. I concluded at this time that sporting events featuring glandular freaks whom I had no control over or real connection to were bad for my health. Not to mention the integrity of objects around me. And I am just about the world's least violent guy. I cannot explain myself.
Today marks the third time out of four in the last eight years that a certain fucking spheroid-playing team blew the AFC championship game. The other time, when they actually won, they came so close to blowing that I was lying on my friend Richie's kitchen floor nearly passed out and ready to vomit. Today I only drank a few Woodpecker ciders, good for numbing the pain somewhat without making me sick.
The numbness is wearing off.
I am never watching or following professional sports again.
I will never watch a certain spheroid-centered sporting event again, not even the Super Bowl, seeing as how a certain stupid fucking home team consistently makes me feel like an idiot for following it and appearing to be quote-unquote good enough of the time to make me watch.
No more sunny 60 degree days in January, like today, wasted in front of the television, screaming and wanting to throw things. (Actually, the day was not a total loss, since after the blocked field goal I got up and raked the yard, something I should have done 3 months ago. Must release testosterone aggression somehow.)
I made this break with baseball about 10 years ago. I did it after turning on the radio during the championship series of a certain home town baseball team, just in time to hear the opposing team hit a game winning home run and the Braves fans in my dorm explode in jubilation.
Actually I had been in process of making that break ever since a certain ground ball rolled through a certain infielder's legs in the sixth game of the 1986 world series, causing me to almost pull my bedroom door off its hinges. I concluded at this time that sporting events featuring glandular freaks whom I had no control over or real connection to were bad for my health. Not to mention the integrity of objects around me. And I am just about the world's least violent guy. I cannot explain myself.
Today marks the third time out of four in the last eight years that a certain fucking spheroid-playing team blew the AFC championship game. The other time, when they actually won, they came so close to blowing that I was lying on my friend Richie's kitchen floor nearly passed out and ready to vomit. Today I only drank a few Woodpecker ciders, good for numbing the pain somewhat without making me sick.
The numbness is wearing off.
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jezum crow
Date: 2002-01-28 05:33 pm (UTC)Yeah, well...
Date: 2002-01-28 06:19 pm (UTC)Perhaps you aren't cut out for this. For god's sake, it's better to lose the Championship game than the gd Superbowl. Did you watch any of that Rams/Eagles game? Both those teams have that offense ... whatever they call it, you know, the one that works.
I never thought that taking out the other teams QB could be such a big mistake!
eh, whatever ... only 4 teams make it that far, dude. The Steelers are good. I'll let you off the hook though. You've been away for long enough to let it all go. But what about your roots man? I'm talkin'about doing it up old school ... well, whatever.
Re: Yeah, well...
Date: 2002-01-28 06:46 pm (UTC)But even then there are plenty of teams that are just cursed by fate to never win no matter how much the fans are part of them. Look at the Red Sox. Look at the Bills. But you and I were spoiled with expectations. We know the Steelers actually *can* win because they did once win, quite often. So when they blow it it's more of a personal thing, like there is some kind of insane juju involved that makes them less likely to win the more I care.
No, I got suckered this year. I thought they were the real thing this year. Once they beat the Ravens.... Jeebus, they dominated the hell out of that game... I thought only a cosmic screwing could let some god damn piece of crap no-offense team win. I came as close to thinking they would win as I have ever let myself get.
But Kordell went into the time machine back to last year. (I also just KNEW that Bettis being in was bad for them, also. And he didn't do shit. They hand the ball to him on 1st down and he gets stuffed on every drive. It was stupid. They got all scared right away. From the minute that game started I had a bad feeling.)
And you know in those teams in the mid-90s, I thought they were terrible, and in those cases we were lucky when they won. But this was different. They just really should have won this year. (I know what you mean about the offenses though. That one they seem to have in the NFC all the time, where the quarterback makes 40 yard passes to wide-open receivers and then varies it with 10 yard short passes. It's called having a real quarterback instead of a quarterback made out of silly putty and string. That said, I have to admit a lot of the reason I thought they were the real deal this year was because Kordell was doing so much better, so I may be unreasonably bitter right now.)
And you KNOW I don't give a shit about the Super Bowl. If they got in, I would be happy, that would be it, I would let it go. (No one will beat the Rams anyway. But the Steelers might have had a shot. The Patriots will be blown out like they always are. Another good reason to give up football is that the best teams never meet in the Super Bowl and they are always very boring to watch.) That was my attitude years ago as well. Just win the games where you are clearly the better team, like this one.
And yeah, now that you mention it, taking out the better quarterback should have done it also. But I swear I almost got this fucking telepathy. "No one is expecting anything from him. He will throw a touchdown." Touchdown. "That idiot's penalty cost them a great punt. Now I bet the Patriots run it back like the Ravens did last week." Touchdown. "Now it's time for Kordell to throw that interception." Etc.
I just feel like if they could not get in this year, when they were CLEARLY the best team in the conference, BY FAR, then there is no god damn point ever following it, because it makes as much sense as playing three card monte. I don't object to them losing. I object to them losing, for as long as I can remember, to crappy teams to punish me for believing they might win. Every god damn year it is the same thing. I am the jinx. You know it.