Nearly surfaced
May. 15th, 2002 12:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sanpaku_backupThe insane workfest is almost over... one section's finals graded, the other to go tomorrow.
Woke up at 5am with acid reflux. Something that only happens to me when I keep erratic hours and go to sleep feeling unaccomplished. In such a condition my mind races as I unsuccessfully try to fall back asleep. So I did what I used to do in college when this happened: go for a run in a nearby park. Seems like the only sane thing to do at that hour, and I come home tired enough to sleep. I was happy to find that I was not wheezing uncontrollably after 15 seconds, despite my absolute lack of "fitness" and generally being out of shape. Did it for a while and then came home, had breakfast, and went back to sleep.
If I could only make myself do it while I am fully awake I would have found a decent way to get exercise... but I'm too selfconscious and impatient to exercise when my brain is on and always have been. And I'm a night person, so I couldn't get up at that hour on a regular basis (yikes!).
I dunno, it's a function of being alone with myself. Mrs. comes back tomorrow, which is good, because I'm going a bit stir crazy. I have virtually no personal interaction and aside from doing the tasks I have to do, I don't feel any direction to things. I don't really have a reason to leave the house except to give the tests etc., not even for work... it's a weird existence. Pathetic, I know.
Woke up at 5am with acid reflux. Something that only happens to me when I keep erratic hours and go to sleep feeling unaccomplished. In such a condition my mind races as I unsuccessfully try to fall back asleep. So I did what I used to do in college when this happened: go for a run in a nearby park. Seems like the only sane thing to do at that hour, and I come home tired enough to sleep. I was happy to find that I was not wheezing uncontrollably after 15 seconds, despite my absolute lack of "fitness" and generally being out of shape. Did it for a while and then came home, had breakfast, and went back to sleep.
If I could only make myself do it while I am fully awake I would have found a decent way to get exercise... but I'm too selfconscious and impatient to exercise when my brain is on and always have been. And I'm a night person, so I couldn't get up at that hour on a regular basis (yikes!).
I dunno, it's a function of being alone with myself. Mrs. comes back tomorrow, which is good, because I'm going a bit stir crazy. I have virtually no personal interaction and aside from doing the tasks I have to do, I don't feel any direction to things. I don't really have a reason to leave the house except to give the tests etc., not even for work... it's a weird existence. Pathetic, I know.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-05-15 07:56 pm (UTC)Not that I'm saying it's easy to do. You just need to get yourself good and hooked on the endorphins. That's the ticket.
(I should take my own advice--I went to the movies tonight, as if I don't sit on my butt enough all day...)
Is there something wrong with me?
Date: 2002-05-15 08:36 pm (UTC)I know what endorphins do, or at least what they're supposed to do. It has just never really done it for me. I don't think there's a single time I've exercised and said, "wow, I feel great!" It's more like, "wow, that made me feel like crap!" At best, "wow, I feel like I exercised." And I've done it enough to have waited for that great feeling you're supposed to get. Really I have. So you see my problem.
They must work for some people because the Mrs. says exactly what you did about the aerobics. So I suspect this is some sort of wily female invention to make exercise sound less awful than it is...
No, actually I just wonder about my body chemistry. I've never had much of a craving or addiction to anything. Smoked enough to know I wouldn't really feel like doing it on my own. Same for alkeyhol. Maybe I just have pathetic endorphins or something.