social graces

[sanpaku_backup]

I have been working at a feverish pace all day and probably will all night. The reason? It's so much easier than writing thank-you notes. Seriously. Anyone need help with breaking rocks or cleaning out your garage? Anything to not write the thank-you notes.

I think we should use the power of the Internet to form an online registry of people who have no interest in social niceties. When you signed up, you would post a message to everyone you know, saying the following: "Please don't send me a thank-you note. It's not worth your time and I know it will diminish the pleasure you felt at receiving my gift." Then everyone would do the same thing in turn. It would evolve as a parallel, less tedious, more authentically sincere society. And then my parents wouldn't get phone calls from their friends asking why I haven't thanked them for stuff (thinly veiled as "...did they receive the so-and-so that we sent?").

You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.

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I got this nifty new client for LJ called Phoenix. It automatically checks to see whether there have been any updates on my friendslist. This saves me a couple of hours of pouncing on the button in my favorites panel, and it deprives me of my most persistent and pointless form of wasting time.

Comments

thank-you notes: counterpoint

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Well, you know... depending on the situation, it's more than just a social nicety. If someone mails you a gift, how are they to know whether you even got it? I sent my brother a Christmas package a month ago and I have no idea if it even arrived. I'm about to e-mail him and ask, and that isn't "thinly veiled", it's really what I want to know to set my mind at ease.

I guess I could send it return receipt requested next time... but then again -- it's simple acknowledgement of the gift that would make me feel good, not the eloquence of gratitude expressed. What fun is it sending a gift if it simply falls into a vacuum?

Re: thank-you notes: counterpoint

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

Hmm.... Good points all. I would say that I have no difficulty with people I actually know. I just call them up and tell them how great the gift is. That should be SOP. You get a gift from someone, you acknowledge it and share the moment with them in one action. Not always possible, especially with more distant relations, but I would prefer that in both directions, personally.

Where it breaks down is with barely-known friends of my parents, whom I suspect are engaged in an elaborate form of Potlatch involving their grandchildren and my parents. The gifts kind of feel like an Obligation, and the thank-you note is how you discharge the Obligation. Completely unfair of me, but what is my LJ if not unfair? :-)

Anyway, seriously, as is the case with many of my posts, this one was basically me bellyaching and rationalizing an attitude that's totally indefensible... It took me longer to compose this response than to actually write the darn things. I just like to complain.

Re: thank-you notes: counterpoint

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

whom I suspect are engaged in an elaborate form of Potlatch

Ah. Right. I'm less familiar with that feeling. But then, of course, I've never had a wedding or a baby ;-)