Sit down. Stand up.
Jun. 10th, 2003 10:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sanpaku_backupAnother introduction to the world of grownups: I was asked to be the religious services chair for my synagogue.
The place has seen better days. The building hasn't been upgraded in a good twenty years or so. We are the only regulars under the age of 40 (and almost the only ones under 50). The shul routinely gets 15 or 20 people on Saturdays, unless there's a bar or bat mitzvah. Morning minyans (services), which are supposed to have at least ten, are not infrequently me and Steve, who comes all the time. They are also unhappy with the rabbi for a million small reasons and basically decided to fire him. Our only real friends there are the cantor and his wife, and they're the ones who are moving to Albany this summer. Also the service is not everything that we would like it to be, liturgy-wise and so on.
Went to my first board meeting tonight. It was everything it promised to be. First, the place is so incredibly in the hole, money-wise, it's just amazing. (One always wonders where the money goes in these places. Usually you figure it's to build ever newer building parts, but that's just not the case here. Here it turns out there's a lot of upkeep, but they're really just trying to bat above their weight by having both a rabbi and a full-time religious school director.) Then one board member talked about how his wife was fired from the religious school and concluded by resigning from the board and from the synagogue entirely. All kinds of terrific dirty laundry was aired.
Why did I agree to do this? Well, other than my general plan for world domination, there's a sense that a) they need me; b) I need them; c) I'm going to be there all the time, so why not. On point a), for example, I'm trying to make sure things are done right and that people come who say they're going to come, so the place stays open, has some order, etc. On b), we did move here to be able to walk to this shul, and there aren't any others around within walking distance. A lot of people want the shul to move to East Grenwich or something equally depressing and exurban, and I really want to find a way to stop that. And hey, there are some things in life that you do get just by showing up. The place isn't one of those shuls where the people with the big money control everything and no one else has any say. I mean, we just joined, and I'm a committee chair.
Anyway, the question is what if anything can possibly be done to turn the place around. I'm not interested in some kind of guitar-playing, watering-down-of-the-service plan to get people "into" it. I think there has to be some kind of education programming. But it's an open question whether you can get the twice-a-year Jews who are 95% of the members there to make any more of a commitment than they already have. I feel that we just need one or two more young, committed young families like ourselves to get involved, and things might start to improve. Get a little energy there. There are ways to try to do that without ruining the service, but they do usually involve trying to involve people under the age of 50. Catch-22!
What else. The past week has actually been pretty busy in a general way. The baby got her first tooth, on the middle of her bottom gum -- teething made things a little stressful. My being gone made things a little stressful. Shavuot last week also made things a little stressful. My being gone teaching from 6 to 10 every night also made things a little stressful. There are ants all over the house, and that's stressful.
So the Mrs. decided to go down to the Island until Thursday, and so far she's de-stressed a little bit, and so have I. It wasn't that we were that upset with each other or anything, just that things were... a little off-kilter. Hasn't helped that the weather has been gloomy every single weekend for about as far back as I can remember. So I managed to catch up on some work and do a lot of little but important bureaucratic things, go for a walk today, and even do a little research. My parents are coming on Thursday, though, so things will go back to being crazy again, what with the house to clean and all.
I am really ready for my teaching to be done. It is really sucking up every spare second that I have and yet, as I've mentioned, nothing is really being accomplished. One more week to go...
Been listening to the new Radiohead on MTV.com the past couple of days. My response so far is that it's kind of eh, but "Sit Down. Stand Up" is really haunting my mind right now.
Oh, and the-cantor-and-his-wife-who-are-moving-to-Albany, A. and D., were here for first night of Shavuot last week. Shahi paneer, chapatis, basmati rice, and a big ol' chocolate cheesecake for dessert. In the course of the evening it came out that A. is really into cheesy pop culture like "American Idol," and A. knows all there is to know about figure skating, and in general A. would be the perfect friend for the Mrs. to have. These are just about the first couple we've met who are our own age that we've connected with, just about ever. In other words, the cosmic injustice of them moving away is becoming more apparent every day. God fucking damn it to hell.
OK, time for sleep.
The place has seen better days. The building hasn't been upgraded in a good twenty years or so. We are the only regulars under the age of 40 (and almost the only ones under 50). The shul routinely gets 15 or 20 people on Saturdays, unless there's a bar or bat mitzvah. Morning minyans (services), which are supposed to have at least ten, are not infrequently me and Steve, who comes all the time. They are also unhappy with the rabbi for a million small reasons and basically decided to fire him. Our only real friends there are the cantor and his wife, and they're the ones who are moving to Albany this summer. Also the service is not everything that we would like it to be, liturgy-wise and so on.
Went to my first board meeting tonight. It was everything it promised to be. First, the place is so incredibly in the hole, money-wise, it's just amazing. (One always wonders where the money goes in these places. Usually you figure it's to build ever newer building parts, but that's just not the case here. Here it turns out there's a lot of upkeep, but they're really just trying to bat above their weight by having both a rabbi and a full-time religious school director.) Then one board member talked about how his wife was fired from the religious school and concluded by resigning from the board and from the synagogue entirely. All kinds of terrific dirty laundry was aired.
Why did I agree to do this? Well, other than my general plan for world domination, there's a sense that a) they need me; b) I need them; c) I'm going to be there all the time, so why not. On point a), for example, I'm trying to make sure things are done right and that people come who say they're going to come, so the place stays open, has some order, etc. On b), we did move here to be able to walk to this shul, and there aren't any others around within walking distance. A lot of people want the shul to move to East Grenwich or something equally depressing and exurban, and I really want to find a way to stop that. And hey, there are some things in life that you do get just by showing up. The place isn't one of those shuls where the people with the big money control everything and no one else has any say. I mean, we just joined, and I'm a committee chair.
Anyway, the question is what if anything can possibly be done to turn the place around. I'm not interested in some kind of guitar-playing, watering-down-of-the-service plan to get people "into" it. I think there has to be some kind of education programming. But it's an open question whether you can get the twice-a-year Jews who are 95% of the members there to make any more of a commitment than they already have. I feel that we just need one or two more young, committed young families like ourselves to get involved, and things might start to improve. Get a little energy there. There are ways to try to do that without ruining the service, but they do usually involve trying to involve people under the age of 50. Catch-22!
What else. The past week has actually been pretty busy in a general way. The baby got her first tooth, on the middle of her bottom gum -- teething made things a little stressful. My being gone made things a little stressful. Shavuot last week also made things a little stressful. My being gone teaching from 6 to 10 every night also made things a little stressful. There are ants all over the house, and that's stressful.
So the Mrs. decided to go down to the Island until Thursday, and so far she's de-stressed a little bit, and so have I. It wasn't that we were that upset with each other or anything, just that things were... a little off-kilter. Hasn't helped that the weather has been gloomy every single weekend for about as far back as I can remember. So I managed to catch up on some work and do a lot of little but important bureaucratic things, go for a walk today, and even do a little research. My parents are coming on Thursday, though, so things will go back to being crazy again, what with the house to clean and all.
I am really ready for my teaching to be done. It is really sucking up every spare second that I have and yet, as I've mentioned, nothing is really being accomplished. One more week to go...
Been listening to the new Radiohead on MTV.com the past couple of days. My response so far is that it's kind of eh, but "Sit Down. Stand Up" is really haunting my mind right now.
Oh, and the-cantor-and-his-wife-who-are-moving-to-Albany, A. and D., were here for first night of Shavuot last week. Shahi paneer, chapatis, basmati rice, and a big ol' chocolate cheesecake for dessert. In the course of the evening it came out that A. is really into cheesy pop culture like "American Idol," and A. knows all there is to know about figure skating, and in general A. would be the perfect friend for the Mrs. to have. These are just about the first couple we've met who are our own age that we've connected with, just about ever. In other words, the cosmic injustice of them moving away is becoming more apparent every day. God fucking damn it to hell.
OK, time for sleep.
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shul stuff
Date: 2003-06-10 08:49 pm (UTC)Some off-the-cuff ideas, worth what you paid for them:
You have two basic options for increasing participation: drawing in the high-holiday members, and increasing the participation levels of the people who already come to some things. I suspect that the latter will have a better payoff short-term, and that it will help with the former over the long-term.
Classes -- one-shot lectures/discussions as well as mini-courses -- might help. Find out what those Shabbat regulars are interested in and tailor the first offerings to that.
Dinners? Kabbalat Shabbat followed by a congregational dinner? Sunday breakfast after Shacharit once a month? Throw in an interesting speaker, maybe?
Some congregations seem to do well with book clubs. I don't have experience with that myself.
Call people in advance to offer them Shabbat aliyot for significant occasions? (I'm assuming you have a yahrzeit list, and maybe you can also accumulate wedding anniversaries, birthdays, or other happy occasions.) Someone who usually doesn't come might come for that, and then maybe he'll come back. You could take a similar approach with candles and kiddush Friday night. (You didn't mention Friday night; what's your turnout like for that?)
In general, people will come to things either because the things are interesting or because their friends will be there and/or recommend them. So increasing the opportunities for the members to spend casual time together might help generate friendships, which may lead to people coming to (e.g.) the Shabbat dinner because they know so-and-so will be there.
I don't know if any of this is helpful, and I definitely lack the small-shul perspective. Even if none of my suggestions are useful directly, maybe they'll suggest other things to you. Or not, but at least I tried. :-)
Good luck!
Re: shul stuff
Date: 2003-06-11 06:29 am (UTC)One trouble with lectures and mini-courses is that they cost $, and the shul is so far in the hole as it is. I would really love to do them -- I was (technically) Adult Ed co-chair at my last shul. But again, the prospect of spending serious $ to get 1 or 2 regulars (at most) to show up is discouraging. I think a lot of things like that have been tried over the years and the reason things are so bad now is that everyone is burned out from doing things like that and having no one show up. (One way I "got" Mondays is because the Torah reader got fed up with preparing Monday/Thursday reading for 2 or 3 people in a minyan. That doesn't bother me -- I enjoy the prep -- but I can understand it getting frustrating after a number of years.)
They do try to do things like Friday night dinners and book clubs, and have some success, though they cost more than they bring in. The thing is that the shul isn't miniscule in terms of membership, it's just that the people whose kids are in the school are not the people who go to services, people who go to services don't do the social thing, etc. It is hard to build a really haimish, communal feeling in a congregation of people who are either a) over 70 or b) have kids in the school but never, and I mean never, set foot in the place other than high holidays.
Sunday would be a good time if we could ever generate interest in the minyan. They tried having breakfast after Sunday services, and I think there was some success, but there's the whole $ aspect again, and now that the food has stopped for the summer and school is out, Sundays are back down to 3 or 4 people.
The social aspect is something that I think actually detracts from the place. Like many shuls, the services are viewed as something to be whizzed through or ignored. So I think I am going to concentrate on that more than on the strictly social aspect (which is not my forte anyway).
I am thinking perhaps we should try to invite people to have aliyot out of the blue, or give divrei torah, maybe nothing like a traditional drash but something more participatory. I'd like the chazzan's desk to be in the middle of the pews, which I've seen at another shul in town and strikes me as a neat idea. I want to find melodies for all the psukei -- and not abridge them either (as we currently do). In general try to make things a little more participatory. And try to do so without it being a public snub to a rabbi who's already being forced out...
Well, my work's definitely cut out for me, but thanks for your ideas and advice... I'm sure I will need more...
no subject
Date: 2003-06-11 06:56 pm (UTC)What parallell universe are you living in?!?!?!
1) Always teaching, doing prepwork or related paperwork. Check.
2) Just joined shul politics at their height of emotional chargedness. Check.
3) Indian Shavuot dinner. Check.
Okay, so my students are younger, my shul more cohesive, my dinner with naan, but yeah.
On to your more practical matters: Draw on your religious school audience! Summer is the perfect time to plan tie-ins with the religious school folk -- if you get the kids, you hopefully get the parents! (Does this person have any responsibilities for adult ed?) If it's a religious school (as opposed to Hebrew school), then maybe have classes rotate through doing a skit or something about the parsha on Shabbat. (Do you have a Candy Man?) Can you run education programming for adults (or even the book group) during religious school time or does that run into space concerns?
If you want to draw on social things anyway, what about a cooking demo-thing relating to an upcoming holiday -- have a food fee and one member (or a team) lead everyone in making favorite holiday recipes. Speaking of food, BBQs go over really well with the 20's-30's in these parts and are also good family events for the beginning of summer, end of summer, Lag B'Omer, end of the nine days, etc.
Thanks for the paperwork break, hope some of this is useful. It's too hot to think too much.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-12 07:42 am (UTC)The school is something I don't know very much about. The bar mitzvah-age class is occasionally there on shabbat, but usually not, and my experience has been that trying to get kids on shabbat is a real uphill endeavor. (I once tutored a kid on the Ashrei whose mother told me point blank, "We don't do services.") Also, this is a group with very low tolerance for anything that makes the service go longer than normal. Since I'm opposed to deleting things from the traditional service, I'm not sure how to work things in like that.
I don't think there are space concerns during the school year -- it's a big building. Sundays are obviously a really good time, though then they have to prep for bingo (bleh) in the afternoon, so I don't know how that would work. I think some nash and drash would be good for Sunday.
There is going to be some kind of BBQ thing this summer, but since programming isn't my docket, I don't know how I would make something cross over with religious services. There aren't 20s-30s in the shul to begin with -- that's a big part of the problem!
So these are good ideas but I still don't know enough about the place to know how I would implement them. I know services and that's about it!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-15 12:24 pm (UTC)Paneer itself: Bring 1 gallon milk to a boil. Stir in ~ 1 c lemon juice. Strain the curds into a colander. (Cheesecloth may be useful.) Leave it pressing in nesting containers (cake pans, plastic food storage containers, etc.) in the refrigerator for a day. (Recipe courtesy of an old friend and his girlfriend.)
This was my first experience cooking with paneer. Our use of it was somewhat disappointing, even once we added the missing salt. (Frying it was also quite an experience!) So, I would gladly accept any more functional recipes!
Good luck with the Religious Services committee! It sounds like you have a pretty good idea of your challenges and are getting a start on some creative approaches. The nosh and drash sounds good, but as you can tell, I'm more of a Programming Committee person.