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[sanpaku_backup]

Within the last week and a half, I drove up to Maine, drove down to Providence, took a train to DC for last weekend, then drove back up to Maine. The trip was mostly fine, though I am not sure exactly how I handled all the driving. I got to take the sleeper train back from DC, which was fun. Now I get to be up in Maine for the next two weeks, at least, when I have to go back down in preparation for flying to LA.

Anyway, not an enormous amount new except that shit with the in-laws got really incredibly awful for a while. Do I really want to go into something stupid, just because it is all I have been able to think about for the past week? Probably not, but suffice it to say that they did their thing of treating S. like garbage, and I decided not to be my usual obsequious self around them, and it was noticed, and I am just relishing the prospect of having it out once and for all. S. is much, much angrier about it all than I have ever seen her be before. Things right now are sort of like Wile E. Coyote keeping walking off the cliff without noticing it...

Anyway, for the moment we have the house all to ourselves and I can finally contemplate something like a vacation. The mosquitos are omnipresent and the 1940s radio station had some sort of a lobotomy that causes them to alternate swing music with "It Might Be You." Now they are playing "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," with Neil Diamond, in a duet.

On the plus side, the baby's crawling around like there's no tomorrow, and I was at least able to be here to see it the first day she did it, so that's pretty nifty.

Comments

[flw.livejournal.com]

So, they've been baiting and baiting and baiting. They want to draw you into a big fight that will confirm something about you that they already believe in the first place. Why bother fighting with these people? Be strong. Be resolute. Don't fight. They want to bring you down. They hate themselves. These are some seriously self-loathing people and they cannot stand to see anyone else be happy. Fuck 'em, take your wife, take your kid and get them the fuck out of there. Don't let them drag you down. You don't need them and neither does Mrs. S.

Everything with them will always be a big territorial battle. They will fight to the death over every detail. Who gets to sit in the front seat? Who gets which bedroom? Who drives? Who gets to use the shower first in the morning? Oh god! Fuck it! And fuck them!

Re:

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

I am not against getting out, but that's what difficult. We would like our last summer up here too. And that's why I haven't picked a fight, just been less cooperative than in the past. Picking a fight is my fantasy of just ending it once and for all and never having to deal with them again, because I know it would work.

About details, you can't imagine it. Like, before I came back, her father was saying all kinds of ludicrous shit, warning S. that I'd better not slurp my soup around him. You see why I want to tell them to fuck off so badly? They really do hate everyone and everything. It's amazing.

Details. For example, they wanted to leave their dog here for a month, necessitating a lot of extra chores for us, with the invariable refrain, "We took your dog when you needed us to do that." Well, yes, but not for a month, and guess what? WE HAVE A BABY NOW. I cannot run down to walk the dog first thing in the morning when the baby is screaming and the Mrs. is starving and wants to bolt down her food and I need to pee and to eat as well... So I just said, "I'm concerned about how that will affect how we do with the baby." So that was my big "stand." There will be hell to pay.

(Of course, afterwards we realized, we should have taken the dog, because now they will come up again to drop him off here for a shorter period of time, and it would be worth it to have him for longer, to then not have to see them again for a whole month...)

Anyway, I don't really feel the need to fight, just that I'm not concerned anymore about whether they like me for jumping to take their dog or whatever. With the baby has come a certain clarity -- that whether they like me or not is really so much less important than making sure MY family is doing OK, and that means my wife and my child being physically and emotionally healthy.

The goal from here on out will be to spend as little time with them as possible, and I think S. is finally, fully on board with that. So maybe we don't need to have a big Donnybrook or anything, though that might be emotionally satisfying. Just try to get through the summer and then stay away as much as possible.